Pastoral ministry is at the heart of the Church’s mission, but those who accompany others also need accompaniment themselves. In a context where pastoral workers increasingly encounter complex personal, social and spiritual realities, formation, supervision and a healthy awareness of one’s own limits are essential.

For the Jesuit tradition, this question has a particular resonance. Spiritual accompaniment is deeply rooted in the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius, which emphasise attentive listening, discernment and creating the space for a person to encounter God directly. What does it take to accompany another person well? How can pastoral workers recognise their own limitations and avoid causing harm? And what role do humility, experience — and even humour — play?

In the following interview, Fr Sebastian Maly SJ, who leads the Spirituality and Retreats area at the Kardinal König Haus in Vienna and is involved in the formation of pastoral workers and spiritual directors, reflects on these questions. He speaks about the importance of professional training and supervision, the boundaries between pastoral accompaniment and psychotherapy, and the Ignatian attitude of being genuinely curious about what God may be doing in the life of the person being accompanied.

Fr Maly, what makes good pastoral care?

The question is not easy to answer, because when can pastoral care really be called “good”? Do people who receive pastoral care sin less, are they less sad or more successful in life? Or do more people feel called to become priests or pastoral workers? As with good therapy or counselling, it is not always possible to say immediately whether a conversation has truly helped someone.

How, then, do you know that you can help someone through pastoral care?

When the healing presence of God becomes accessible to the other person — whether through the human encounter, the conversation or a ritual such as confession. Good pastoral care changes something. The minimum criterion, however, is that it must never cause harm. This is particularly important because abuses can occur in pastoral contexts, including spiritual abuse and sexualised violence.

This is an important minimum standard.

It is a gift when people place their trust in me through pastoral care, and I have a responsibility to preserve that trust. Of course, this applies to all pastoral workers. But we are ordinary human beings and we make mistakes. It is important to be able to acknowledge those mistakes, including to one another.

Why is this difficult for pastoral workers?

Many pastoral workers experience uncertainty in their own practice but do not dare to speak about it. This may have to do with a particular self-image: one may be an ordained minister or have received a certain pastoral training, and feel that this should somehow be enough to deal with every challenge. But as pastoral workers, we are always also learners; nobody is perfect.

No one should be afraid of allowing others to see what is happening in their pastoral practice. Of course, the seal of confession must always be respected, but supervision provides a protected space where cases can be discussed and where we can benefit from the perspectives of other pastoral workers.

Has this uncertainty increased since the abuse cases in the Catholic Church came to light?

Since the abuse scandals were exposed, a certain carefree attitude in pastoral ministry has disappeared. In many respects, this is very important. But the changed situation also raises new questions and uncertainties. For example, a pastoral worker may spontaneously embrace someone who is grieving and afterwards wonder whether this was appropriate for that person. We need spaces where pastoral workers can reflect together on questions such as these.

What does ongoing formation look like for pastoral workers?

Since the 1970s, there has been a process of professionalisation in Catholic and Protestant pastoral care. Practical theology and psychology have worked together, bringing approaches from counselling and therapy into pastoral formation. Since 2010, there has been a particular strengthening of formation around sexualised violence and spiritual abuse.

Nevertheless, there is still a lack of consistent standards across dioceses for pastoral formation, as well as a lack of mandatory ongoing formation and supervision for pastoral workers.

Why does a pastoral worker also need pastoral care themselves?

As a pastoral worker, I am first and foremost a fellow human being and, like everyone else, I have limitations. Receiving accompaniment can help me accept this reality and reflect on difficult encounters so that I can learn from them. If I can accept my own dependence and limitations, I can also accept them more easily in others.

Why is awareness of one’s own limitations so important?

Pastoral conversations can involve particular dynamics. One example is what psychology calls “transference”: during a conversation, I may suddenly come to occupy a particular role for the other person. Feelings may emerge that are not really about me, but about someone else — perhaps a parent or another authority figure. Conversely, something in the other person’s story may trigger emotions in me as the pastoral worker.

Recognising these dynamics is important because they affect the conversation. But I may not always be attentive enough to recognise them. If I myself become emotionally triggered, I may stop listening carefully. I might start giving advice or defending myself. Experience helps us deal with such challenging situations, but whether we are experienced or not, we need to recognise that we listen as the particular person we are — including with our weaknesses.

So a good pastoral worker needs knowledge and experience. What else?

Training is very important. There are practical skills that pastoral workers need to learn, such as how to conduct a conversation. But there are also attitudes that have less to do with formal training and more with experience. These are things we can only grow into.

For example, I consider it important to perceive the person before me as a fellow creature. This requires what the theologian Johann Baptist Metz called Compassion: a solidarity with the other person, including an awareness of their social and family circumstances. It is a solidarity from human being to human being, from one creature to another.

Pastoral workers also need humility: an inner attitude that is realistic while remaining hopeful. And they should not lack humour. Humour can help us gain some distance from ourselves and from what we experience, and remind us that we are simply one person among many, trying to carry out our service — sometimes better and sometimes less well.

Where are the limits of pastoral care?

Pastoral care can create a space for the “divine therapist” to work. But it is not psychotherapy. Someone may come to a pastoral conversation because they are sad and need someone to listen to them. If what they actually need is therapeutic support, pastoral workers need to be realistic about what they can offer and refer the person to appropriate professionals.

This does not mean that people experiencing mental illness or a serious psychological crisis should simply be turned away. Particularly when someone is already receiving therapeutic support, faith and spirituality can provide additional resources that may emerge in pastoral accompaniment in ways that are different from psychotherapy.

You are involved in training pastoral workers and lead a course in spiritual direction in Vienna with Sr Christa Huber CJ. Is spiritual direction a particular form of pastoral care?

Exactly. People seek spiritual direction when they want to deepen their spiritual life or explore particular questions that are worth discussing regularly with a companion. They want someone to accompany them for a particular stage of their journey.

Why is spiritual direction so closely associated with the Jesuit tradition?

It goes back to the Spiritual Exercises. Ignatius of Loyola himself experienced accompaniment from both people and God. He realised that when I enter deeply into a journey with God — when I pray, meditate and undertake spiritual exercises — I need the possibility of speaking with someone about what I am experiencing along the way.

What makes a good companion according to Ignatius?

Ignatius says that the person accompanying another should remain like a balance in the middle, so that the creature can act directly with the Creator, and the Creator with the creature.

I like to express this thought in a simple way: I do everything I can not to get in God’s way. I try to help the other person come into contact with God, while remaining as restrained as possible so as not to push them in a particular direction — especially when they are discerning a decision.

The companion should also have a curious attitude: curious about what God has in store for the person being accompanied. However much formation we receive, we always come back to this attitude: as pastoral workers, we need to be able to step back and marvel at what God is doing and at the ways in which God is at work.