“We have access to everything in our own room, alone, and we can create our world, with our virtual friends, those who applaud us and listen to our complaints, with the images that can satisfy our affective needs... and we stop being Jesuits (with a shared and communal vocation) to be self-sufficient, self-justified, arrogant, alone, depressed, and not very evangelical and prophetic.”

“I have heard instructive inputs on affectivity and I have experienced several moments of sharing on affectivity. What did I miss? A creative integration of the two.”

“What gives me hope that I will be able to live a happy and chaste life is meeting older Jesuits who find fulfilment in their daily lives.”

These three insights exemplify the many, many more reflections that Jesuits in formation shared with formators who participated in a workshop on affectivity and chastity at Loyola from 3-8 July 2023. Their thoughtful, appreciative, at times deeply grateful and sometimes sharply critical remarks show how profoundly this topic is connected to virtually all other aspects of Jesuit life. Jesuits in formation long for a formation in which rich community life (real and healthy relationships with other Jesuits and friends), prayer and spiritual direction, physical and cultural experiences provide a supportive context for chaste living. They are aware of the circle of shame that can isolate us and ask for formators who make it easy to talk about affectivity issues. And they want to deepen a Christian anthropology in which our sexual nature appears to be a normal and enlivening dimension of celibate life.

Brendan Callaghan (BRI) and Kevin O’Rourke (HIB) facilitated the workshop, which was attended by 17 formators from 11 provinces. The non-threatening environment, the rich input and the many opportunities to share experiences and observations made learning comfortable and enjoyable. The feedback from the participants was overwhelmingly positive. Brendan and Kevin gave an example of how to be both approachable and competent, which is what young Jesuits expect from their formators.

Will scholastics see the fruits of this formation event for formators? Hopefully, they will. It will be up to them to look for them.