Lukas Ambraziejus SJ on his mission in a nursing home in Vilnius.

We Jesuits in Vilnius actually lived quite comfortably in quarantine in a large, cheerful household. We always had the opportunity to go outside. Nevertheless, I also experienced these privileges as a loss: I did not share the burden of the situation with my sisters and brothers. My world was small, but. I realised: in the state of emergency of a nursing station, I would learn more about God's presence than in my tidy room. So I decided to volunteer in the coronavirus hotspot Marijampolė, then later in a social care home in Utena. That was more than five months ago now.

There was a specific call for help: when the coronavirus reached Saint Mary's nursing home at the end of November, a dozen nurses and almost all 40 residents of the home immediately fell ill. Feverish nurses had to stay in bed. Sick residents were left without vital care. When I arrived, I was put up in a guest house with other volunteers. Several volunteers from other religious community had already left because they had contracted the virus. Everything felt like arriving on a battlefield.

In the morning, I was directly assigned to a 24-hour shift and shown exactly how to put on various layers of protective clothing. All the remaining residents were weakened by the virus and in need of care. When doing tasks like changing bed linen, sweat immediately began to run down the body as the suits are completely impermeable to air. The visors stop the circulation of air. The goggles fog up all the time. After a few hours, the skin on the ears and cheeks starts to burn. But much worse was the sight of the seriously ill.

And yet: I felt happy at work. Any feeling of sluggishness or inadequacy evaporated. I clearly felt in my heart: God is with me. All this time I could not receive Holy Communion. But even that made me happy. I was one of millions of people who did not have access to the sacraments because of closed churches. It was good to share communion with the religious sisters. We had long talks with them in the evenings.

I take home unforgettable moments from that time: the persistent prayer of an almost unconscious old lady: "My God, save me, my God, save me". My birthday party with work colleagues with 25 chestnuts and candles. A deep encounter just by looking with a nun who could no longer speak. My own prayer at the body of a woman who died during my night shift. Although I got very close to very sick people at both places of assignment, even without protective equipment, I never got sick myself. I spent Christmas isolated in a small room. In a very real way, I was very close to all the old people who were left alone without visitors during Corona.

This article appeared in an abridged version in the JESUITEN issue 02-2021 "Jesus". This publication appears four times a year and can be subscribed to free of charge here.